Early Success Blinds to the Later Reality - I may have let Gloria down a bit!

Last Wednesday, December 3, was the “big” day - Day 2 in the three-week chemotherapy cycles. It was the day when she was hit with four anti-cancer drugs almost at the same time as well as a number of others to help her body cope.

While most patients tolerate these drugs at their initial encounter, there are real dangers that the body will react violently in a self-destructive way. In that event, quick action would be required to respond.

Fortunately, all couldn't have gone better, generating a sigh of relief and a celebratory trip to - where else - Culver's.

But that initial success glossed over the fact that as those drugs do their intended work in the immediate days which follow, they will drag her down, possibly causing nausea and most certainly, fatigue. On the day after - Thursday or Day 3 - that effect had yet to really begin, and so after getting the shot to boost Gloria white blood cells, we again visited Culver's. The fact that ours is located on our route home is not letting us treat our addiction in a rational manner!

Saturday was Different - She awoke feeling very worn down and she said it felt that everything in her body ached. We had tickets for the Saturday-evening annual swedish Supper in Olsburg, Kansas, but she said early in the day it held little appeal. We were planning on going with friends Dave and Susan. Gloria suggested I should start looking for an alternate partner. As with Friday, I decided to wait and see.

I had some things I had to complete for my work, so I drove to town near noon. Big G texted about 1:45 p.m. I didn't have my glasses on, so when I glanced at my phone, I thought she had written she was feeling less wimpy, so it looked like we might have a repeat of Friday night - initially uncertain, but then everything went forward.

But then I noticed she had added that I might want to check to see if Abby might be interested in going.

Looking again at her message with my glasses, the crucial word was not wimpy, but whippy!

Dave said daughter Abby was busy, so I called our friend Sarah. Being a vegetarian, she said that buffets can be difficult to navigate and thought it best to pass. I called our friend Connie, but she had company for the weekend.

Since we’d have to leave Manhattan in about an hour, I decided I'd just see if the folks running the supper would let me take something home for Gloria.

Some Background - A few months ago, the engine in Gloria's Cadillac developed a malady too costly to properly address and Gloria no longer felt comfortable driving it. So the Chev we bought from daughter Katie last year became Gloria's ride.

I always enjoy seeing how much I can squeeze out of a vehicle, so I began driving the Cadillac. We also have our van that has weathered 275,000 miles. While it's a bit rough around the edges, almost everything works - the notable exceptions being the door locks and the windshield washer.

Since it's not good to let a vehicle sit idle too long, a short time ago I decided to switch from the Cadillac back to the van. One cool evening when I was driving it, the windshield wanted to fog up, even with the defrost on full. But in the days that followed, this proved to be a minor problem. Being a fix-it guy, I wanted it to act up so I could determine with certainty what was happening. So I had left a roll of paper towels and some Windex in the van just in case.

On Saturday, my plan had been to pick up Gloria and switch to the comfortable-riding Cadillac. But when Gloria backed out and time was spent looking for a substitute, no time remained to switch vehicles. We three would have to use the van.

Off to Olsburg - I met Susan and Dave at our designated meeting place in the Walmart parking lot and then pointed the van northwest out of Manhattan at our agreed-upon time. We arrived almost exactly at 4:30 p.m. - the published starting time of the Olsburg supper.

Left: A happy bunch at the Olsburg supper - and not just Swedes. Right: Dave, on the right, sits next to some oddball.

We had a good time, seeing a few people we knew, chatting them up a bit, and completely enjoying the food. Well, that's not completely true. Some of those around me weren't lutefisk fans, but I volunteered to eat their portions. And there were plenty of other good things - potato sausage, meatballs, potatoes, sweet potatoes, beans, salads, cookies, ostkaka, and more.

Our Return Trip - By the time we left the schoolhouse where the supper had been held, it was fully dark. When we reached the van, Susan noticed a bit of liquid on the floor on the passenger side and asked, "Did I do that?" Since we had parked at the edge of a curbless-street and recent snow had left the ground wet, I gave it little thought and we soon were on our way, taking Kansas 16 west across the Tuttle Creek Reservoir to the village of Randolph. Once there, we turned south on U.S. 77 toward Manhattan.

By Randolph, the windshield was starting to fog up some. However, as noted earlier, it had done this before and the part it front of me was clear enough to reliably see the road. However, the portion in front of Susan in the passenger seat was pretty difficult to see through and that may have been disconcerting for her. I should mention that while I have known and worked with Dave for better than 25 years, the time spent with Susan has been far less and so my ability to judge where she is at is not very good. Having lived with at least one daughter who is an introvert, as I judge Susan to be, I have learned that they are not pleased to be scrutinized and so I did not inquire.

Additional Background - My father drove trucks almost his entire working life which began at age 12. My uncles Art and Pete, my grandfather and my older brother also drove various vehicles, all beginning below the legal age, except for my grandfather as there had been no legal limit set when he began. By the time I came along, traffic laws were more likely to be enforced, so I didn't begin driving until I was 16, learning on a truck. Part of my training was to always buy yourself as much advantage as you could. So, for example, during times of icy roads, if traffic allowed, drive with the left two wheels on the paved road and right two on the graveled shoulder if clear as the latter provides good traction.

If that was not an option, drive down the center, regardless of the road markings. This is because paved roads are generally made with a slight high point at the center line, dropping off toward the road edge. This allows the road to shed water. But when icy, this slight camber tends to push the vehicle toward the ditch.

If approaching a snowy intersection with a traffic light against you - meaning red - and one is heading uphill and there is no cross traffic, don't stop or even slow down. Drive through the light because starting again after a stop is problematic.

There are tons of these small "rules" I absorbed and have sometimes said that when I have to choose between driving regulations and physics, I choose physics. Breaking the former may get you a ticket, but breaking the latter may result in being stuck, having an accident or even losing your life.

On to Manhattan - I should have stopped at Randolph and cleaned the window again. But it wasn't bad at that point and so I pressed on.

As we headed southward on the last 25 miles, my view of the road decreased, but I could clearly see the center stripe on the damp highway. My options were now reduced. I didn't feel comfortable pulling off the road to clear the windshield as that stretch of highway is quite dark and pulling to the shoulder is an invitation to be hit from the rear. So as long as I could see the center stripe clearly and the area around in general, I knew I would be OK and so I pressed on. It wasn't a great situation, but one we were then into with no attractive alternatives.

When we were about 10 miles from Manhattan, we ran into a stretch where there were no cars coming toward us - all dark in front - so I decided to pull toward the road’s center. This wasn't because the road was in bad condition, but just part of what I'll routinely do to give myself as much margin as possibe. This was aided by the fact that I've driven that stretch countless times and so am quite familiar with it. Doing so allowed me to see the center stripe all the more clearly.

Now usually when I decide to set the driving regulations aside, I warn any passengers beforehand. But just prior to moving toward the highway's center, Dave asked me a question and I was soon busy responding.

Then Susan said something I didn't catch, probably because I was running my mouth. But my impression from her tone was she was stressed, and so I paused.

She then said something like, "Art, you're in the other lane!" or something to that effect and with what I perceived was a bit of tension. It was then obvious I should have previously paused my discourse and explained my intentions, but that ship had sailed.

I hesitated for I wondered if she would really be listening to what I said or was she just focused on the fact that I was in the middle of the road. So I pulled back fully into my lane, a bit amused by the thought that we were in a slightly less safe position then than we had been before, yet I had a hunch Susan felt more safe.

The situation reminded me of another from 1983 where the roles were somewhat reversed. It was in England and I was the passenger with some friends. We were driving back roads in Wales at a far greater speed than I could imagine doing myself as they are narrow and very curvy. But I noticed Ray - our driver - was just keeping up with traffic and no one seemed to be plowing into the embankments. In brief, I figured he knew what he was doing.

At one point, we were on a two lane road - one lane in each direction - when the directional signal of a car up ahead following the driver coming toward us came on. That farther car then pulled into the center of the road. My heart jumped! It was a two-lane road with a car coming directly toward us and the rear of the fellow he was following. I imagined a three-car pile up!

But Ray smoothly pulled left - remember, it's England - and the car in the oncoming lane pulled to his left and just like that, our two-lane road was three lanes wide! The blinkering fellow passed between us and once past, we all resumed a normal position in the center of our respective lanes.

Problem Located and Gloria's Status - We worked our way into Manhattan in a "quiet" vehicle, then stopped in the hospital parking lot and cleaned the windshield as best we could. Susan went at with determination, but with little success.

Once I dropped Dave and Susan at their car in the Walmart lot, I tasted the water on the floor on the passenger side. It had the characteristic sweetness of anti-freeze. A small hole must have developed in the heater core and the vaporized fluid was being transferred to the windshield by the heater fan, producing the fog that wouldn't easily wipe off. My "wait and see" approach to my problem had paid off with a clear answer as to what was happening, but that may have come at the price of Susan's sanity.

When I arrived home, it was still early evening. Gloria was "resting," but feeling a bit down. She complained that she was such a wimp, but it turns out she had done the washing and some other things and I assured her that by this time the primary treatment chemicals were dissipating and she should be on a slow mend. Her skin was no longer flushing as it had in the morning, and she said she thought she might be feeling some better.

The servers in Olsburg gave me a take-away container, but I wasn't sure what might appeal to Gloria. I finally decided on some cookies and a couple of Jell-Os. They proved to be good selections.