Kansas Snapshots by Gloria Freeland - May 9, 2025

In the company of good friends

When I arrived at Linda's home, Deb was already there, making a salad for our lunch.

There would be six gal-pals gathering for "Monday with Mandy" - a tradition we started in 2023. Linda's daughter Mandy, who owned a bakery in Madison, Wisconsin, died in 2017 at the age of 36. We thought a nice way to honor her memory was to re-create her favorite recipes, as well as try some new ones. It also gives us a chance to enjoy each other's company.

When we first decided to meet, we weren't sure whether the gathering would be a "one-off" or something we would sustain. Since that first time was more than two years ago, that question has been settled.

Linda had chosen to bake a glazed ham with a pecan topping - a variation on one of Mandy's favorites. She also had made deviled eggs. In addition to her salad, Deb had made something called "Lemon Cream Cheese Dump Cake," while I brought a mandarin-orange one created from a recipe I borrowed at niece-in-law Rachel's bridal shower 24 years ago.

Soon, Pat, Ann, and Lou joined us, each bearing dishes to add to our meal options.

The rules of the day are notable by their absence. Despite the name, Mondays are not set in stone. If it is more convenient, we'll meet another day. Sometimes we have full meals, but other times, we only partake of desserts. In the beginning, we did all our cooking at Linda's home. But now we do a combination, bringing some things from our own kitchens.

Often we have a theme, but not always. We have celebrated Christmas, St. Patrick's Day, and nearly every other holiday you can imagine. In December, we had a cookie exchange. For Valentine's Day this year, my sister Gaila joined in, and we decorated little bags of candy with hearts and funny faces to give as gifts to others.

Today's gathering was meant to get us in the mood for Easter and spring, which wasn't difficult as it was a beautiful day and many flowers were in full bloom. I brought a few cut tulips from home and selected a vase from Linda's cabinet. She said the one I chose was her grandmother’s - the grandmother she never knew as she had passed before Linda was born.

Deb brought the photo book she had made from her 2024 trip to Ireland with her family. We went through it together and the perusal brought back memories of the 2008 trip husband Art, daughters Mariya and Katie, and I took to the Emerald Isle. However, Deb's travels didn't involve a week in the national records center in Belfast chasing relatives as our trip had.

With the food offerings set side-by-side on the counter, we filled our plates as effortlessly as the conversation moved from one topic to another. This sharing of what is now going on in our lives was something we once did daily when we worked together. Occasionally, Linda's dog Frannie, a cute little Schnorkie - a Schnauzer-Yorkie cross - came over, hoping for a scrap or two we might drop.

The conversation shifted to people we’ve loved and lost. Linda said some things in regard to Mandy's passing are harder for her to handle now than right after her death. Linda also lost her husband Martin just a few months after Mandy's passing. I mentioned I still haven't been able to open the box with the sympathy cards I received after the death of my first husband Jerome - and that was 39 years ago! Linda said she had the same problem and suggested we have a sympathy-card-burning party sometime. The others cautioned we might want to consider carefully before doing that.

From there, the direction the conversation took might seem odd to some, but we all had been involved in the newspaper business, and a staple of the business is writing obituaries. Lou said she had thought about writing her own since she doesn't have children to know what she accomplished in life. I said maybe we should make one of our Mondays with Mandy an obituary-writing session!

With that, Linda said she'd had enough serious talk and wanted to go outside. She had recently purchased some pillows to go on her deck furniture, so we helped arrange them. She and Deb hauled a rolled-up outdoor rug from her basement onto the deck and we helped her lay that down as well.

Later, heading home, I thought about how some days are filled with grand events and experiences that later push their way to the top of our recollections. This had not been one of those. This warm spring day was the type that was good for the soul - a day where everyone was in the mood to linger a bit and spend as much time as possible in the company of good friends.