Kansas Snapshots by Gloria Freeland - January 31, 2025

What's in a name - Take 2

About a year ago, I wrote a column called What's in a name? A recent message to husband Art from his 93-years-young aunt Sue caused me to revisit the topic. She mentioned in passing that her 96-year-old companion of many years prefers to be called Don rather than Donnie. She brought this up because Art has always addressed him as Donnie, following the lead of Art's mom, who knew Don from birth.

Her email caused me to think about people and their wide-ranging relationships with their names - relationships sometimes based on logic, but just as likely to be purely emotional.

An example is Art's brother Tommy. His given name was Thomas, but in the family he was always Tommy, probably to distinguish him from their father Tom (Thomas). Tommy also used Tom in introducing himself and often used Thomas in more formal written correspondence. But his wife didn't like Tommy, feeling it made him sound like a little boy. So, she always called him Tom.

There was a hint of something similar in Sue's email as she mentioned Don said he hadn't been called Donnie since he was 4. However, he has always embraced being called "Hildy" - a diminutive version of his surname.

For her part, Sue is a bit like Tommy. She seems to respond equally to Sue, a shortened version of her given Susan, or its diminutive form Suzie. She even uses the latter in her email address, perhaps liking its youthful ring.

Art has an even wider range of names he responds to. He grew up being called Butch, a name bestowed by the delivery room nurse. Around older family members, he is still Butch. His cousin Marcie even calls him Butchie. If we are in a crowd and our daughter Katie wants to get his attention, she'll call out "Butch!" He always notices. Tommy also referred to him as Ham Fat, Ham Bone and Humphrey. Why? Even Tommy didn't know, as it had started so long ago.

For that matter, Katie has her own quirk regarding her name. She uses Katie for family members and some friends, but uses Katherine in all other cases.

I'm usually called Gloria, but I'll respond to Glor, Glory B (from middle name Beth), Glo, and Big G - the latter one bestowed by Art. Students and colleagues at K-State called me GBF since I often used my initials when signing notes or emails.

Everyone in my first husband's family always called him Jerry - except when his mom was mad at him. Then it was Jerry Dean! But Art refers to him as Jerome - his given name. Why? Because Jerome died before Art and I met and since I called him Jerome, Art followed my lead.

Art's uncle Charles was called Pete. Except for those in the family, no one knew his proper name. Art's mom, who was nine years older than Pete, couldn't recall when he was called anything else.

Circumstances can interfere with someone's relationship to his or her name. Mom's first name was the Swedish "Edla." Because it was unusual, folks often wrote it "Elda" or "Edna." With dad being Edgar, she'd sometimes introduce them as Ed and Ed. Art's grandfather Vaughan was also an Edgar, and he was quick to correct anyone who called him Edward, the name of his older brother who had died the day after Christmas while still a child.

Some people have strong preferences. Art's dad's middle name was Lorenzo and he hated it, telling people the "L" stood for Lawrence. Years later, long after Tom's mom was gone, Art learned his dad received that name because his mom's favorite brother, who drowned in a lumbering accident, was named Lorenzo. She had bestowed it as a fondness. Art's dad then felt bad about rejecting the name. He hadn't made the connection because Lorenzo was always referred to by family members as Rennie.

The writer Colin Dexter created the British detective Endeavor Morse, who so disliked his first name that he only answered to Morse. When people pressed him about his given name, he referred to it as an unpleasant joke his parents played on him.

Our 18th president's parents named him Hiram Ulysses Grant. When he was recommended for West Point, he was concerned other cadets would nickname him HUG, not a very suitable moniker for a military man. So he reversed his first and middle name on the application.

Then fate stepped in. It appears that someone at the school thought his middle name was Simpson and so, he was enrolled as Ulysses Simpson Grant. As the principal general for the Union during the Civil War, he rather liked being called U.S. Grant. When asked what the "S" stood for, he'd answer, "Nothing!"

This was also true for President Harry S. Truman, although, like Grant, there is more to the story. The "S" was the result of his parents wishing to honor both his grandfathers - Anderson Shipp Truman and Solomon Young. This led to a controversy as to whether a period should follow the letter since it was not an abbreviation for a name. Truman always used one, so historians followed his lead.

Well, these name situations are endless, so I'll close with a joke about names that Art tells and always makes me chuckle.

A man in the Chinatown section of a large city noticed a laundry with the sign "Ole Johanson's Laundry" over the door. He went inside to learn how a Scandinavian came to open a business in Chinatown.

But he was even more surprised when Mr. Johanson greeted him, as he had features that were clearly Asian. Asking about this seeming incongruity, the launderer replied, "I was in the line at immigration and this big Norwegian ahead of me was asked his name. The man responded, 'Ole Johanson' and the man wrote it down. Then, it was my turn. When he asked my name, I said, 'Siam Ting,' so he wrote down Ole Johanson."