Kansas Snapshots by Gloria Freeland - January 17, 2025

A "free" day

Husband Art has a story he has told any number of times.

It involved an unusual situation where we both had work trips fall in the same week. Mine was to a conference in Branson, Missouri, and our two daughters, sister Gaila, and her two girls joined me so we could enjoy fun times together after my work part was over. Of course, we informed family, friends, and work associates we’d be gone.

Then, at the last minute, something came up and Art’s trip was cancelled. That was when he decided to do something that was a bit strange. He didn't let anyone except me know about the change in plans. On the first day he was to have been gone, he arose before dawn, and drove to his work. But when he was about a block away, he parked and finished the journey on foot. Most days, he works by himself and since he had planned on being gone, no one was scheduled to come in. He then stayed inside until after dark before returning home. The next day, he did the same thing. He chose to do this so that no one would see his car at work or at home and know he was about.

So why this odd behavior? When his trip was cancelled, he suddenly realized he had not just one day, but a whole week of one of life's rarest and most precious things - "free" time! He could choose to do whatever he wanted without that nagging feeling most of us have most days that there are tasks awaiting completion and people who have expectations of us.

Completing tasks and connecting with people are rewarding, but sometimes it's so refreshing to operate entirely based on our own decisions with no outside considerations.

Such days are almost nonexistent once we reach adulthood. Our vacations from school or work are often filled by other things we have deferred until we have a break. Or, perhaps, we opt for a go-go-go vacation - a time when we come home needing "a vacation from the vacation." Marriage and children, despite being mostly joyful experiences, also create regular demands on us. Our children may have an occasional "free" day because of a school cancellation that comes about due to some unforeseen event such as a heavy snow. But these are likely to place even additional burdens on us, their parents.

Ah, but when we retire, they are all "free" days, right? If it were only so! I've lost count of how many retirees I know who have waxed poetic about how they have no idea how they ever had time for work as their days are so full. And I’m one of them!

So how did Art spend his "days of freedom?" He had a couple of work computers he wanted to install new operating systems on, and with his assortment of hardware, it would have typically taken one day per machine. To most of us, this would have been the very antitheses of a good time - of a way we might want to use a "free" day. But he enjoys fiddling with computers when he has enough time to work out bugs and not feel he is stealing time from other required tasks or that he may be interrupted at any moment and have to shift to something else.

I had my own version of such free time and, as hard as it is to imagine, it occurred during our Christmas holidays of years past. We used to have seven - yes, seven - celebrations when our girls were small. After shopping, wrapping gifts, preparing meals, and attending multiple social events, we headed off to Woodward, Oklahoma or Wichita, Kansas to have Christmas with my first husband's family. Then we'd go to the farm to be with my parents. Christmas at home on December 25 was followed by a celebration at Art's daughter Karen's home in Kansas City. Then we made the 600-mile trek to Wisconsin where we had separate celebrations with Art's mom, his aunt and his cousin.

Those were all great fun, but they were busy and required organization. But during the week we were in Wisconsin, there were always a few "free" days when I could do whatever I wanted. One was to wrap presents. Yes, it was a bit demanding, but it was my choice. If I hadn't done it, Art or his mom would have.

As much as anything, freedom is a state of mind. These "free" days offer us the option of making selections based on nothing more than whim. If we want to do some task, we can. But if we want to do nothing more than stare out the window, we can do that.

Visiting Art's high school classmate Jo, which we did last week, has a similar feel. We have long ago explored all the unique sites near her home in southwestern Wisconsin. Now, we get together with no other goal than letting the conversation or whatever else we choose to do meander wherever it takes us.

At first this confused Jo a bit. We were guests, after all, and so, entertaining was her responsibility, right? Nope! Being together and just enjoying each others’ company is the goal.

I thought about this freedom thing because of the recent snowstorm that left our home area paralyzed by 16 inches of snow - the second-highest snowfall we’ve had here in 125 years. We arrived home Wednesday, three days after the event. Our arrival had been planned because I had a meeting the following day. But because so many places were still digging out, the gathering was postponed to the following week. Just like that, I had a free day!

I was in charge of a meeting scheduled for Friday - two days after our return. But much of Manhattan remained a wintry mess late Thursday, so I emailed everyone and cancelled our little conclave. This group enjoys the project we are working on, but soon the "Thank yous" began to arrive from members having one less thing to cope with. And for a few, I'm pretty certain it also became one of those special oh-so-sweet "free" days.