Kansas Snapshots by Gloria Freeland - September 6, 2024

Engineering my engineer's party

In my family, birthdays were always a big deal. My parents would sing "Happy Birthday," followed by special gifts, a decorated cake, and the whole works. In husband Art's home, the day would sometimes come and go without anyone remembering the significance. That's not to say he is a killjoy. I've often said he goes overboard when it comes to Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, and other occasions.

Knowing it is important to me, he always does something for my birthday. But he has made it clear in the past that he doesn't like a "big fuss" for his. Still, I couldn't let this year's just pass as it was a milestone - his 80th! The trick was how, with the help of family and friends, I could surprise him in a "low-key-geared-to-Art" way.

British "grandkids" Courtney, 23, and Sam, 20, had come to spend a couple of weeks with us in Wisconsin, primarily at our cottage in the states's north woods. So their presence - and presents - from them, their parents Leanne and Steve, and their grandmother Jan were a good way to start the day.

These included a woolen hat to replace one that had frayed, a tiny lighthouse to remind him of our trip to Llandudno, Wales with Jan, a billfold to replace his current one which is falling apart, hard candy from Llandudno, a small plaque with the words - "Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they are there," and a book "Who Knew? The Big Book of Science Questions That Will Make You Think Again."

As Art is wont to do, he began reading the book until I reminded him we had a four-hour journey to Madison, where daughter Katie and her husband Matt live.

It was about 2 p.m. when we arrived at our agreed meeting place - the Olbrich Botanical Gardens and butterfly conservatory, where Matt volunteers. Although Art lived in Madison for years when he was a young man, he had never been to that part of the city. Learning about a new place pleased him.

We spent more than two hours in the garden, starting with the conservatory, where we watched butterflies - some orange, some yellow-and-black, and still others black-and-blue - flitting among the orchids, bromeliads, cacao, and other tropical plants. We caught glimpses of tiny quails skittering underfoot and a yellow canary singing its heart out in a tree.

Outside, we walked to a pond, where the lily pads in various colors reminded me of Claude Monet's Impressionist paintings. I could tell Art liked them too, because he was taking a lot of photos, a rarity for him. We then took a 30-minute shuttle tour around the perimeter of the various gardens to get an overview of what they had to offer. It was clear that to do it justice, future visits will be required.

A stop followed at A Room of One's Own, a nearby bookshop featuring publications by and for members of historically under-represented communities. While the others browsed, I bought two books for new grandchild, Diana.

From there, we went to Katie and Matt's home to partake of a charcuterie platter filled with Wisconsin cheeses and sausages, fruit, and crackers. In addition, Matt smoked bratwursts with green chiles - a definite hit with Art.

Then it was gift time. The first was a package from Brock and Trish - Patricia - friends in Norway we've never met in the flesh. Brock had requested Art's head size months ago, so I knew a toque - a knitted cap - would be on the way. The timing was perfect, arriving the day before we went to Wisconsin. I tucked it into my luggage before Art had a chance to see it. Trish had knitted a lavender toque for me and a blue one for Art.

Next came a "Wisconsin Dad" T-shirt from Katie and Matt. A "Wisconsin Mom" shirt was a bonus surprise for me!

An "80-plus things we love about Art" poster - a several-month collaborative project between Katie and me - was also a winner. In April, I emailed family members and friends to send one or two things they love/like/admire about Art. Far and away the biggest item was Art's skill in storytelling. Also included were his curiosity, love of family, fix-it ability, willingness to be a travel guide, research skills, approach to solving problems from different angles, generosity, and wheezy laugh. Others included his penchant for breaking out into song - especially at Christmas - and wearing shorts throughout the year.

After gathering the information, I sent it to Katie. She made a "word cloud" - a visual collection of words in different sizes, with larger, bolder words being the ones most-frequently mentioned. I asked her to put "80-plus things we love about Art" at the top and a list of those who had contributed at the bottom. The result was printed and framed.

To top off the evening, we ate a chocolate cake and lemon creme tart with edible pansies that Matt had ordered from a bakery. He placed two candles on the tart - an "8" and a "0." On the cake's edge, he put eight candles, but only lit two. We were perplexed, but he said, "Art will get it." Art chuckled. He likes the fact that he and Matt share certain mathematical and scientific knowledge. Art explained that in the decimal system, his age would be written "80," but in the binary system, it would be "01010000."

A final surprise was a "Happy Birthday" video message from the Fron Male Voice Choir - the group Art and I fell in love with when we were in Wales.

Since Art likes driving, he enjoyed the four-hour trip back to our cottage. Courtney and Sam dozed in the back seat, while Art and I reflected on the day. As for me, I must confess to feeling pretty proud of myself. I had engineered a celebration for the engineer that pleased him as well.