Kansas Snapshots by Gloria Freeland - August 2, 2024

"Stork drop"

I was at husband Art's work when I noticed a message on my smartphone from daughter Mariya: "Hey mama are you with Dad? Wanna do a quick video call?"

Art's work is only a few blocks from where Mariya and wife Miriam live and we had just seen them two days before. Since it was a work day, perhaps something bad had happened.

But that thought was quickly pushed aside by another considerably more positive.

Mariya and Miriam have been married six years next month. Two years ago, they decided they would like to expand their family through adoption.

While I knew it would be somewhat involved, I had no idea. The girls had to take courses and pass exams on various topics related to childcare. Maybe all would-be parents should be required to take such classes before having babies! In addition, an adoption agency representative inspected their home to make sure it was a healthy environment for a child.

Other hoops to navigate involved creating a portfolio so the mother could see what sort of family the baby would be welcomed into. Since Mariya and Miriam are skilled artists, the result was impressive. When Art's cousin Jeff looked at it, he asked, "Could they adopt me?"

There were also payments for the adoption agency and a lawyer.

Then one evening when we were finishing supper with the girls, they presented us with two gifts. That seemed odd ... until we saw they were coffee mugs for "Grandma" and "Grandpa." They had "matched" with a young girl in the Kansas City area who was early in her pregnancy. I was thrilled!

As anyone who has had a child knows, it is a roller coaster ride. The anticipation of one of life's most joyous experiences is tempered by concerns over whether the baby will be healthy. With an adoption, there is the additional knowledge that the mother can change her mind at any time - a decision both Mariya and Miriam were completely supportive of.

The mother did keep her baby. The gals decided they wouldn't tell as many people with the next match. The emotional ups and downs were bad enough without sharing the ride with family and friends who were concerned for their well-being.

The next match was with another woman from the Kansas City area. She already had four children, was in her late 20s, and wanted to return to school - something that would be difficult while raising a newborn. The meeting with the mom went well. This time Mariya and Miriam gave us a card with the sonogram to break the news.

But as time passed, communications became less frequent and eventually ceased completely. When the projected birth date passed with no word, their hopes were again dashed.

Art and I were in Wales at the time, and Mariya and Miriam decided a couple of weeks abroad might help their spirits rebound. So they joined us in our last week in Wales and spent the following one in London, going to shows, shopping at markets, and generally enjoying themselves.

Then it was back to reality. Mariya had a new person to train at her work and Miriam is always busy at her lab.

We celebrated Mariya's 38th birthday about a week later. When I asked her what gifts she might like, she replied, "A baby." Her answer made my heart hurt.

Then, just two weeks after returning from London, the gals received an early-morning phone call. A young mom in Wichita - not as young as the first and not as old as the second - had given birth the day before. It was a surprise for her as well, as she was unaware she was pregnant and had gone to the hospital thinking she was just having bad cramps. After looking through the various adoption portfolios, she chose Mariya and Miriam.

As the previous two situations had shown, things can change, so the girls only told their bosses they had a family emergency. They headed to the hospital, stopping along the way to grab a quick bite to eat and a car seat appropriate for a newborn.

The third time proved to be a charm. The video call with us was of two very tired, but very happy gals holding little Diana. Despite their weariness, they couldn’t stop smiling - and neither could we. I also added a new expression to my vocabulary - "stork drop." Miriam explained it's what a whirlwind adoption is called. It certainly must feel that way. One day, they were a couple and then, just like that, they became a family of three.

They were prepared at home, already having bought a recliner/rocker and a dresser with a changing pad on top. I supplied a few of Mariya's baby clothes I had saved for just such a moment. Other basic supplies came from friends who left packages of tiny diapers, bottles, and other goodies at their back door. And, of course, I've had fun shopping the baby aisles of a local department store.

I should confess that I already had grandchildren, as Art's daughter Karen has four children and over the years we’ve enjoyed seeing them grow up. Two of them have even joined us on our European adventures, and three have given us great-grandchildren.

But I hadn't had the full "grandma experience" with them as one was born before I knew Art and the other three paralleled the time we were raising Mariya and her sister Katie. Now, being an empty nester and a retiree, I can devote a bit more attention to this latest arrival. You know, this "instant grandma" gig is ok!